Author: Mandy Green

Rating: R

Website: Amused and Abused

Feedback: maryavatar

Pairing: Trance/Harper

Summary: Harper gets more than he bargained for when he makes a pass at Trance.

Note 1: Set pre-Andromeda, shortly after Trance joins the Maru’s crew.

Note 2: I blame Rivier for this one. She linked me to the Yoni Temple. McJude and Luzmaria get some credit/blame too, for shamelessly encouraging me.

Beka was idling away an afternoon in her bunk, reading romance flexis, when she heard, "Ummm, Captain Valentine?"

Beka looked up at her newest crewmember. "It’s Beka, Trance. What’s up?"

"It’s about your engineer… he’s a bit rude." Trance was blushing a rather remarkable shade of purple.

"Don’t mind Harper, he’s harmless," Beka said, sitting up. "Tactless, annoying, too damn smart and oversexed, but harmless." Beka smiled and patted Trance on the shoulder.

"He wants to have sex with me. He said some really dirty things. I tried to explain that my species don’t have sex with humans, but he said I shouldn’t knock it until I’ve tried it."

"Sorry, Trance. Do you want me to have a word with him?"

Trance toyed with her tail. "I’d rather handle it myself. I just wanted some advice. He flirts with you, but it’s not like he expects anything to happen. How did you do that?"

"Heh." Beka paused. "Actually, I had sex with him."

"What?" Trance gaped. "And that made him stop pestering you?"

Beka scratched her head and looked sheepish. "I… ah… made sure it was really bad sex."

"Oh." Trance thought for a moment then grinned. "Thank you Beka," she said and bounced off cheerfully.

"AAARGH!"

Beka jumped out of the pilot’s chair and rushed toward the crew quarters, just in time to get knocked off her feet by a semi-clad Harper.

Harper pulled her to her feet. "Sorry boss. I… uh." He looked slightly hysterical.

"What’s wrong?" Beka’s eyes narrowed. "Have you been harassing Trance again?"

Harper pulled his tee-shirt on. "No. I mean… Jesus…" He yanked the zip on his overalls up and backed away from Beka, toward the engineering hatch.

"C’mon Harper, spill." Beka growled.

"Just getting to know each other. Nothing to worry about." Harper looked nervously over his shoulder at the hatchway leading to the bunkroom.

"Harper…" Trance’s voice floated out. "I thought you wanted to improve crew relations?"

Beka raised one eyebrow, as Harper flushed red. "Crew relations? Would that be naked crew relations? Something go wrong?"

Harper turned and fled into engineering, his voice trailing behind him. "Vagina Dentata…"