I'm anyone's when I'm drunk. Everyone on Serenity knows that after Kaylee had managed to semi-molest me. I'd been lucky and passed out before the main event. Kaylee isn't too bothered about such things as privacy, and had been quite happy with her hands in my pants while the rest of the bar watched.

I'm a lot more careful about how much I drink in company now. Alone, when River is sleeping though... that's a different matter. That's when I find the half-full bottle hidden at the back of the anaesthetics cabinet. It's the good stuff, the stuff I have to mix with a pint of fruit juice just so I don't go blind from drinking it.

Every control freak needs a way to lose control, and that bottle is mine. Not that I really lose control: I have a ritual, one that ensures no interruptions, no accidents, and most importantly, no hangover. Late night, locked door, anti-toxin injector. Foolproof.

Except Jayne isn't your ordinary fool. I'd drunk just enough to be happy and sexy and loose when Jayne kicked the bolt to bits and tried to steal my booze. I decided that since I was physically unable to fight off Jayne, I'd horrify the man into leaving.

Ear licking is apparently not something that horrifies Jayne Cobb. Quite the opposite, in fact. I had my pants around my ankles and a really talented tongue up my ass before I really knew what was going on.

The morning brings an assortment of physical and psychological discomforts. Odd how I feel so sore, and yet so... relaxed. The bottle is still in my possession, and I consider tossing it out the airlock. 

When I'm drunk I'm anyone's. The bottle goes back into the cabinet. For next time.