Me: Thanks, I’d noticed.

H: I’ll rephrase that.  Why aren’t you writing?

M: I do do things other than write, you know

H: Yeah, you read porn and avoid doing the housework.  Have you ever considered, y’know… getting a life?

M: Watch it shorty, or I’ll write another innocent!Harper fic.

H: Oh gag.

M: And I wrote a story yesterday; I’ll have you know.

H: Oh please, the fairytale one?  A bit of a cyber-wank hardly qualifies.  I know you can do better than that.  Look at the Pouncing series.  Now that was high level smut.  Any chance of part eight coming along any time soon?

M: Jesus, I wrote those months ago.  Get over it: the series is finished!

H: You can’t blame a guy for trying: that series has…

M: …you on top for once. Yes, I know, I know.  That episode was fucking hard to write.  Face it hon, you’re a bottom all the way.

H: Only because Captain Terrific and the King of Hair are so tall.

M: And the fact that you’re a cute little slut.

H: I love it when you talk dirty.  Are you getting any ideas?

M: I always have ideas; it’s the words that are the problem.  And I’m supposed to be working on that SeaQuest serial killer fic for the Fuh-Q fest.

H: It’s that Lucas muse again, isn’t it?  I’ll kick his ass if I catch him whoring around in your subconscious again.

M: Yeah, right.  Like you wouldn’t drop your boxers and bend over in a minute if I wrote a crossover.

H: Are you going to write a crossover?

M: No.

H: Damn.  Why not?  You did that Farscape one.

M: That was different: I only did that to wind up Palin.

H: Hey, if you ever want to wind her up again…

M: You have no shame, do you?

H: Aw c’mon, Crichton in the long black coat?  Who could resist?

M: Glub…

H: Ahhh, the sound of plot bunnies attacking.