| A/N, this was written for Christine, who dragged me into the
SV fandom in the first place.
"Eeep!" "Oh my God!" "Crap." "Clark… is that...?" "Some people knock before walking into houses, Lex." "I knocked. Ten minutes ago. I wasn't expecting to find you... naked. I wasn't expecting naked you to be..." "Another meteor mutant?" "...hung like a blue whale. Where the Hell do you hide that thing? I've seen you in those old jeans that are a little too tight, I'm sure I would have noticed something before." "Uhm..." "Holy shit! It retracts? Wow. I guess I know why you don't try to nail Lana. That thing would kill her." "Gee, thanks Lex. Glad my physical abnormalities amuse you." "Ah shit, Clark. I'm sorry. It was just a bit of a shock: you always seemed so perfect. You know you could make a fortune in the porn industry?" "Lex, if you don't shut up, I'm going to beat you to death with it." *much giggling* "I'm sorry, you'll never be able to have sex, and here I am laughing." "Hey, it's okay: I'm laughing too, see. Besides, I can have sex; I'd just have to be on the receiving end." "Oh. Um." "Hey, you're blushing! I didn't know you could do that." "I'm not blushing, I just felt a little warm suddenly." "Oh yeah, I'm still naked." "I'd noticed." "Heh." "Yeah." "So." "So..." "So, should I go get dressed, or would you like to deflower me over the kitchen table?" "?" "Okay, I only came down because all my stuff is in the laundry. I'll just go get... mmmmf!" *THUD* "Oooh… Lex! Wow, that's really... dirty. No, don't stop." "Oh fuck, Clark. You taste so good." "Uuuuuuuurrrrr..." "Oh yeah." "Butter. Over there. NOW!" "Shouldn't we... okay, maybe not. That's interesting, you say you haven't done this before?" "Shut up and get it *in*!" "Okay. Ohhhh kayyyy. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." "Woohoo!" "What the *fuck*?" "Whoops" "Dammit Clark, these shoes were hand made." "Sorry." "No you're not." "He he, I just got laid." "You just flooded the damn kitchen in blue come, and I'm not finished yet." "You sure about that?" "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Uh uh uh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh." *snicker* "Holy shit Clark, you got a sex mutation. Go meteors!"
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